The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Tuesday, 31 July 1990

Who Remains?

VERY EARLY AM

I’m at my Mum’s.

Even as I write this, in the darkness, Freddie is suffering what could well turn into another heart attack.  I haven’t been feeling too close to him lately and we rarely see eye to eye, but I hope he pulls through and gets well – and VERY soon.  It really is not nice to see this kind of thing happening to him (or, indeed, anyone).  He doesn’t deserve this agony and he doesn’t deserve an untimely death.  If there’s anyone out there that answers the prayers of someone who believes prayers go unheard, then please keep him safe.  I wouldn’t wish this, I wouldn’t wish death, upon anyone.  And spare a thought for Betty, who loves him dearly despite their recent differences, but most of all spare a thought for little baby Chip, who truly loves and needs his daddy.

I pray for your deliverance, Freddie.

Later:

LATE

EPILOGUE

‘Sun King/Mean Mr Mustard/Polythene Pam/She Came In Through the Bathroom Window’ – The Beatles

Work was shite. 

I also rang two factories to find out if they had any jobs going.  Nothing.  Typical.  Can’t even get my nightmare job.  Pretty sure I’d be rubbish in a factory, though.

OK, just stay calm, Ritcherd.  Save up your money and then you can work out how to go about seeking your fortune.  Like The Beatles did.  They had to do all the ordinary stuff first, and then when they’d done all that they found a way of doing whatever they wanted.  I’m telling myself this simply because if I don’t then I’m going to fall into the pit again…

I rang Larry Goodgirl for help and he told me I should send my CV to his theatre and apply for the Assistant Stage Manager job.  I have applied now, but given my sheer lack of experience in that area of theatre I doubt I’ll get it.  Honestly?  They’d be stupid to give me the job.

Flash rang and I love hearing from him.  I hope life is happier for him at the moment.  Well, it seems to be anyway.

I’m going to bed.  I’ve to be up for a pile of shit tomorrow, so I’ll probably have a cry whilst I’m in bed. 

It makes me sick.

I’m reconsidering my options regarding the possibility of going to university now, too.

Well, July is obviously reaching its end now, isn’t it?  Yes, I think so.  On a suicidal note, it seems.  Goodbye, July.  I wish it could have been sweeter.  August approaches.  I hope it brings hope.

Farewell for now,
Ritcherd xxx

[AND THAT’S HOW JULY 1990 ENDED, FOLKS!  WHAT IS HAPPENING TO RITCHERD?  IS HE REALLY LOSING CONTROL?  IN 1995 HE WILL TOTALLY LOSE IT.  HE WILL ALSO GO THROUGH MORE CHANGE.  BUT REST ASSURED, THE FUTURE WILL BE BRIGHT (THOUGH OFTEN BLEAK) WITH LOTS OF STUFF GOING ON.  I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I WRITE TO YOU FROM 1995.  WHO REMAINS FIVE YEARS FROM NOW?  FLASH, LILITH, FERGIE, MAGGIE, ELBOW AND STAN.  ANYWAY.  READ ON.

Ritcherd
ODEON CINEMA, ST ALBANS
18/AUG/1995]


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Miranda plans…’

Monday, 30 July 1990

Going Down Again

8pm

‘Working Class Hero’ – John Lennon

I needed the money.  That’s the simple explanation.

I worked at the lorry yard today.  I did a half day till 12pm.  But I do hate it there.  I will continue to work there for the moment, but now more than ever I am looking for another job – even if it’s in a factory, because it’d be more money than the yard and probably less work too.  Certainly more dignity.

My current life is very upsetting and not at all creative, inspiring, fulfilling or rewarding.  I’m not used to that.  I haven’t been for almost 2 years.  However ‘small’ my own problems might seem, I don’t think anyone realises I am undergoing a grave and disturbing psychological crisis.  I don’t care how pathetic it all sounds or how crap I’ve been acting lately; I am having to adjust to a great deal right now.  I’m facing a new more enclosed and unproductive life and it frightens the hell out of me.  I feel lost.  I don’t know who I am anymore and I don’t have a clue what the point of anything I’ve so far achieved has been.

‘Cry, Baby, Cry’ – The Beatles

I didn’t get the Museum job.  They wrote to me this morning, telling me that my hopes had all fallen into a bucket of dogshit (I’m paraphrasing). 

I’ve got 5 A-levels, 6 O-levels and 2 CSE’s, and I can’t even manage a fucking Museum Steward/Attendant job.

WHAT HOPE HAVE I GOT, FOR FUCK’S SAKE?!          

Do I think the world owes me a living?

Well, yes – OF COURSE IT FUCKING DOES! 

If not, then what kind of world have we made?!

I just need a sign.  One sign of hope and optimism that tells me I’m worth something; a sign that tells me that there IS some point to my being alive.

I’m going down again.

Down, down, down.

My situation now terrifies me.  I feel like I’ve come to a point of no return.  I am having to do a job I hate and I feel utterly unsupported by my ‘parents’.  I want to move away, but can’t afford to.  I obviously have no prospects there right now.  I have no true friends close by; drinking buddies, yes, but no moral support, no-one to fire me up a bit.  I have no-one special to turn to.  I have no one to love and no one to love me, and – worst of all – I have no hope, no faith and nothing to look forward to.

All I have is tears.

Later:

LATE

‘Going Down’ – Lou Reed

Jonny Badcock got back in touch.  He’s also very eager to not vegetate and would like us both to find a way of getting things moving again, despite his well-paid factory job.  He seems to want us to try and do something with my FRANKENSTEIN play in the autumn.  It seems like a fine proposition and it would be nice to do something with it.  I’m certainly thinking on it. 

Heigh-ho.  See you again after a day’s drudgery, dear diary.


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Who Remains?’

Sunday, 29 July 1990

Patience and Strength

AFTERNOON

‘Dominion/Mother Russia’ – Sisters of Mercy

My ‘parents’ are fucking me off.  What I’m against is being manipulated and ordered about; having to do things against my will and being ultimately unable to do anything about it.

Later:

‘Naked In The Rain’ – Blue Pearl

Jack’s just had some blokes visit him from a computer software company to discuss a programme they would like him to design.  I hope they give him a job.

I hope I get that Museum job.

I hope the DHSS finally backdate my money tomorrow!

I love the ‘culture’ I’m, ‘part’ of at the moment.  God knows what it is, but it seems to respect a hippy ‘60s thing, along with acid, drugs, punk, House music and comics.  It’s exemplified by the likes of Pop Will Eat Itself, Revolver/Crisis/2000AD, pop music from the likes of Snap and behind all that the Rave scene too.  In my daily life it’s baseball caps, trainers, hooded tops, tie-dye, psychedelia, and painted Doc Martens.  Just a shame that the bubble is pretty much bursting though.  Sadly, ‘Madchester’ fashion is getting crapper and the House music ‘scene’ is fucking up.  Soon I’ll be part of a sub-culture again…

Later:

9pm

‘The End’ – The Doors

Sitting alone on the windowsill, carried away on sunset’s inferno, I’m drifting on islands of darkening blue on a boiling crimson sea.  Curling wisps of smoke-like cloud weave a flimsy web over the horizon’s volcanic conflagration.  There is a passion and a fury, and yet there’s also a sedate passivity to it all; but always a steady ooze of new wonder.

I weep inside for lost days in a different air, in stranger lands.

My stare penetrates the whirling pools of fire, my soul pencilled, my mind painted, my emotions emblazoned with this sun-blessed gold.

I wish for tirades of beauty still to come, knowing I have spent my youth wisely.  I hope I have much more of it to spend.  I don’t want to label these new and tearful days as ‘misspent adulthood’.  This fiery sky blazes about my heart; a small testament to the wonder without/within.  This fire tells me the things I need to know, and in that telling it promises more.  I must be patient and I must be strong.

And now the sky opens and the rain pours forth.

I thank the mother for this orgasm of beauty; this small, but oh so great pleasure.

A year ago today was the last time Ritcherd J Winterfood spent with Miranda Wasp.  Good god!


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Going Down…’

Saturday, 28 July 1990

The Spock 'n' Roll Years

12.30pm

‘Where Are You, Baby?’ – Betty Boo

Apparently, while I was out last night, Jonny Badcock was ringing around for me.  That’s a turn up for the books, isn’t it?  He contacted Betty and told her it was very important that he speaks to me.  He’s going to ring me today, she says.  I wonder why?

A mystery begins…

Later:

Jonny didn’t call back.  And I’ll tell you something else.  At the expense of sounding petty, given the way things were left between us, I’m not going to call him.  Not just yet.  I don’t feel quite ready.

Later:

‘We Love You’ – The Rolling Stones

Spock popped over tonight, just for a short while and we watched some of the late ‘60s editions of THE ROCK ‘N’ ROLL YEARS that I videoed in 1987.  Afterwards, I showed him a little of the She-Male sex video that Mooney lent me.  And did you know (because I only just found out!) that every summer Sunday, my little pot-bellied, sunken-chested Income Tax Vulcan visits a local nudist beach?  What a turn-up, eh?

Later:

‘Rain From Heaven’ – The Sisterhood

CARRIE was on tonight, and although I’ve seen it on numerous occasions, I really enjoyed it – more than I’ve ever enjoyed it before.  Better than last week’s AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON I’d say.



[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Patience and strength…’

Friday, 27 July 1990

Careful With That Axe, Eugene

‘Careful with that Axe, Eugene’ – Pink Floyd

Tonight, I went out with Spock and the Commander to Duncan’s house and had a really brilliant time.  The occasion was to watch the Doctor Who adventure, THE DAEMONS (supplied by me) with tea and cakes and, as Spock likes to call them, ‘cheesy comestibles’.  And so we did, breaking the story into two sections.

In the ‘interval’, I had a good look at Duncan’s MASSIVE record and video collection (two rows of about 15 feet of shelving, mostly LPs, but also hundreds of singles and 12-inch’s).  I’ve never seen so many records in a private collection – and they were 75% brilliant!

(His collexion incs. Led Zep, Doors, Hendrix, Cream, King Crimson, Bowie, Pink Floyd, and – mostly – Beatles stuff and their solo works.  He’s even had two Beatles books published.)

Duncan’s about 36 and he also owns the original The Making of Doctor Who book in Piccolo.  Wow!

We also watched some PINK FLOYD footage from about 1969.  I don’t know much about them, but they were fucking fantastic.

God.  All Duncan’s records + videos are in special sleeves with labels, etc, and his shelves have alphabetical indications on them.  I aspire to having something rather like this when I get older.  I’m going to promise myself.  He’s even got his own catalogue of his collection as well – BRILLIANT!  He made us all supper too and I had a great time.


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘The Spock ‘n’ Roll Years…’

Thursday, 26 July 1990

Wangers

12.20pm

‘Jihad’ – The Sisterhood

Today, I finally got through to the DHSS and told them I can’t make it to the scheduled meeting and that it’s pointless me going as we could just as easily discuss it over the ‘phone in a matter of mere seconds.  But they wouldn’t have that!  They’ve called me in for Monday at 2pm.

Will I ever see a cheque and get off this bloody ‘dole’?!  Piss bloody off, you wangers!

Lilith wrote today.  Two letters, in fact; one of them all about being in love with me and wanting to be with me and the other a lot of vague musing and conjecture about the many aspects of her life.  She wants to see me soon.

Mooney rang earlier on as well.  He wants me to go over to his house on Saturday and dreadlock his hair.  This, I shall.  If I’m free.

Well, my dearest darling diary, Miranda Wasp wrote to me today and I’ll tell you all about it in just a moment.  It’s good, kids, and it made me laugh! 


She wrote the letter on Monday, having been unable to write over the weekend due to work.  She addresses me as ‘dearest’ Ritcherd.  She says it’s so hot down there that she can hardly move and isn’t looking forward to that night’s work because there’s a party of 24 booked in. 

In my last letter, being aware that her mother had never passed on my previous letters, I asked why Miranda chose to contact me out of the blue like that.  She replies that she wanted to know what I was doing, where and why.  She thinks it’s brilliant and strange that we wrote to each other at the same time – like there was some kind of telepathy going on.  She expresses the hope that we don’t lose touch again.

I asked her why she’d blocked out much of her last summer and she says she wants to see me very soon and tell me in person.  She signs off as ‘Miranda’, with three kisses.

Mmm, well, it left me feeling that she had become even more mysterious! 

What was wrong with Miranda last summer?  And does it tie in with what I suspected back then? 

We’ve really got to discuss this!


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Careful with that axe, Eugene…’

Wednesday, 25 July 1990

A Letter From Donna

8.05pm

‘Thunderbirds Are Go’ – MC Parker

Tonight’s LOVEJOY‘The Sting’.


A letter from Donna Davidson.  Thanx, Double D!

Miranda tomorrow?

Later:

‘Tom’s Diner’ – DNA with Suzanne Vega

I’m sick to death of the DHSS!  It’s almost two months now since I did my ‘two weeks in a row’ signing-on.  I’ve signed twice since then, which totals over six weeks without any money from those tight bastards!  Twice they’ve sent letters requesting further information and now they seem to believe I’ve told them that I’m working part-time when I patently haven’t and I’m most certainly not!  I’m supposed to have a meeting with them tomorrow and for two days I’ve been ringing them to tell them that I can’t make it and all I’ve ended up with is a dead or engaged tone.

Well, as I’ve said, Donna Davidson wrote to me.  She’s enjoying herself in Cirencester with her chum Sinead and they’ve been doing things, like breaking into swimming pools. And going to the pub a lot.


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Wangers…’

Tuesday, 24 July 1990

Who-tographs

12.30am

‘She Comes In The Fall’ – Inspiral Carpets

NOT only am I a DOCTOR WHO fan, but I am most definitely a SOPHIE ALDRED fan.

OH MY GOD, SHE’S GORGEOUS!

Later:

10.30am

‘Monkey Man’ – The Rolling Stones

WOOGHAH!

On Saturday, Flash and Elbow went to Sheffield for the DOCTOR WHO autograph session and met various WHO people – including SOPHIE ALDRED!  I knew all this anyway, but I’m pleased to announce that Flash has sent me several autographs signed to me, which arrived today.  They are autographs and messages from: MARK AYRES (MUSICIAN), DOMINIC GLYNN (MUSICIAN), LEE SULLIVAN (COMIC STRIP ARTIST), DAVID BANKS (CYBER-LEADER), NICOLA BRYANT (PERPUGILLIAM BROWN), COLIN BAKER (THE 6TH DOCTOR), and SOPHIE ALDRED (ACE) who signed hers ‘To Ritcherd with X-tra special love’.

Well, thanks for the coaxing on the last one, Flash!

WOW!

I’m chuffed.  Thanx, Flash.  I look forward to the PANOPTICON.  There’s another convention the week before that one, so I might go to that too.

Later:

11.30pm

‘Adrenochrome’ – Sisters of Mercy

TV CHOICE today:


And on video I’ve been watching SOME LIKE IT HOT and it’s brilliant.


I reckon I need a few more Marilyn films on video.

I bought a copy of TV ZONE magazine today.  It wasn’t at all worth the money, but I’m not disappointed.


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘A Letter from Donna…’