The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Thursday, 31 May 1990

Cor, Blimey, Guv’nor, I Ain’t Half Buggered

another of the “LONDON?” series

THE 31st AND LAST OF MAY

8.15pm

My No.1: ‘Killer’ by Adamski

Dearie me, did I neglect to inform you why I am actually here?

Well, Donna and I are here to ‘check out the scene’, find out what London’s like and how the situation stands.

It often feels dreary here, to be honest.  It almost makes you want to forget your aspirations; but I know I mustn’t.  We must persist.  Don’t let it get you down.  Even so, I’m tired and my money’s run out. 

‘Circlesquare’ – The Wonder Stuff

We went to Central Casting today, but they’re not taking any more people on at the moment.  We also visited Ad-Voice, but they only see you by appointment.  The NFT was nice, but the NT looks grim and oppressive.  We also visited Larry’s theatre, The Cockpit (even though he’s in King’s Lynn, presently), and it was okay.  I actually now tend to believe he’d never employ me (or any of the others in our group).  Even so, I reckon I’m a better performer than any member of his inherited resident company.  I’m probably better than a lot of drama school graduates out there.  And nowhere near as good as many others.

GIZZAJOB!

Oh, fuck bloody off.  Just FUK FUK FUK. 

I need a better plan than this.  I’ll try again soon – with a suit, a haircut and an idea of what I’m bloody doing.  8.25pm.

Later:

‘Children of the Revolution’ – Baby Ford

Tonight, Donna and I were discussing our recent falling out with The Frigid Spinsters (Kat, Jo, and Rita).  Donna also spoke of Kat’s love for Jonny and me and how Kat had told her something amusing, that Donna had been sworn to forever hold as secret.  As is usual in these situations, I pried the secret from Donna, who told me that the night after the Disco, as Kat and I talked in The Walks and she got upset and had to leave, Kat told Donna that she had, to put it in her own words, ‘pissed herself’.  So I was right!  I told Donna that I remember turning after taking a few steps and thinking I’d seen this, realising that Kat had run off.  Donna said Kat ran off into the bushes to take off her leggings and walked home without them on.  Back home, she’d had to wash them.  How very odd and incontinent of her.  Does she have a weak bladder?  I had to mention it…

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1988

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Well, Y’know, It’s Not So Bad, Actually…’

Wednesday, 30 May 1990

London?

“LONDON?”

AND SO BEGINS A SHORT SERIES OF LATE MAY ENTRIES

8.55am

’53 Miles West of Venus’ – The B-52s

There’s something strangely soothing about early morning shopping complexes.  I’m not talking about supermarkets; I mean these… well, what would we call them in England?  I mean, I suppose the Americans call them ‘malls’ – yes – ‘shopping malls’, but if you say that in a Yorkshire accent it ceases to have any kind of effect.  No.  Well skip that.

Whatever sort of complex this is, it’s generally known as QUEENSGATE and it’s in Peterborough.

I’m sitting at (I can’t say ‘in’ really, because the design of the place won’t let me) MAXINE’S restaurant or café or whatever it is and I’ve forgotten what I was going to say…

Oh yes!  There’s something strangely soothing about early morning shopping complexes; a vastness that lets the amniotic muzak that teases each occupant to sub-cranially dance about or linger, as if coming from everywhere and nowhere at once.  People move on to work, the coffee remains cheap and the café furniture stands tacky and abandoned. 

‘Smash The Mac’ – Crass

Spock once said to me that the ‘80s was a pinnacle of bad taste.  I don’t sympathise with his view at all.  There’s still a lot to be done in this world, I know, and if you can remotely ignore its environmental and sociological problems, it’s a good world, I suppose.  My world.

Oh god, we’ve never had it so good – and damn me, that’s true.  So how could the ‘80s have been a pinnacle of bad taste?  How could he say that to me whilst he was dressed the way he was dressed?

Anyway, my point is, the ‘80s were nice (and still are; the ‘80s won’t be over till about 1992, believe me), the coffee here is good, and I’m feeling ‘soothed’.

Oh no!  The people opposite me are eating chips.  Oh no!  It’s only 9am.

Mind you, I must have done worse.

I don’t care.  I’m feeling quite good.

YIBBLE!

It’s funny about the Lake District.

I don’t know why I brought that up.

Oh yes, the bus company up there was called RIBBLE

And that reminds me.

Time to go.

All my love,
Ritcherd J Winterfood

PETERBOROUGH, 30th MAY 1990, 9.10am.

Later:

2.43pm

‘Dirty Cash’ – Stevie V

I don’t have the [          ] to go down these steps upon which I now sit.  In BOOKS ETC.

YIK!  YIK!  FLOOP!

[energy?]
[incentive?]
[guts?]
[arsedness?]
[legs?]
[inclination?]
[Fuck off?]
[London’s expensive?]
[And shite?]
[Money?]

HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

All my love
Ritcherd J Winterfood

LONDON, 30th MAY 1990, 2.45pm

Later:

9.45pm

‘Roam’ – The B-52s

DONNA DAVIDSON WRITES:

WELL, here we are, crashed out at my sister’s house.

Today was soooo strange!  All day I had these mixed emotions about what the hell am I doing here?  Plus Ritcherd and I are almost out of money – har-bloody-har.  It’s not funny at all, especially when you feel you have to negotiate buying a cup of coffee with your bank manager!  Nonetheless, we had a fun day, but I feel confused and weird.  I’ve got to stop before I do my own head in!  10.30pm

Later:

If you’re wondering about the BOOKS ETC entry, it was all about the fact that I was tired this afternoon and literally had to slump down onto the steps in a shop and write some diary.  Gives you that ‘novelty factor’, doesn’t it?

After relaxing with a nice tea from Andrea, Donna and I began to feel good.

Later:

‘Whole Lotta Love’ – Love Child Orchestra

It’s good of Andrea Davidson to put us up at her place.  I’d always wanted to meet Andrea – ever since Donna first told me about her back in 1988.  Andrea always seemed attractive and interesting to me and Donna had always spoken highly of her older sister.  She’s really nice, and tonight, Donna has told me many new and interesting things about her.

We are in Andie’s spare room right now – in hysterical fits of laughter at VIZ COMIC’s SID THE SEXIST.

‘I divvent knar much aboot curry, but I’ll have the hottest fucker what ye’s de.’


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Cor, Blimey, Guv’nor, I Ain’t Half Buggered…’

Tuesday, 29 May 1990

Scarce Belief

6pm

‘Eyes Without A Face’ – Billy Idol

Nothing’s really happening here.  I think.  This week’s being empty.

Very soon, life could and probably will, go very wrong.

Later:

‘Na Laetha Geal M’Oige’ – Enya

My bath tonite.

After my bath, I lay on the floor, naked and wet, listening to ENYA.  It made me think…  When Flash, Raquel and I arrived in the Lake District, we were so… disappointed?!  I can’t believe that now.  Looking back, it was beautiful and stunning.  And we were away from the hustle and bustle of our usual, regular lives, weren’t we?  My God, I can scarcely believe my own impudence and near-sightedness sometimes.


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘London?’

Monday, 28 May 1990

TV These Days

‘Moondial Theme’ – Pete Thomas

TV THESE DAYS:

DOCTOR WHO VIDEOS

The TELETHON bugged me, but if I ever get mega-rich, a massive amount will go to children’s charities.  I swear.


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Scarce belief…’

Sunday, 27 May 1990

Huff and Storm

‘Killer’ – Adamski

Lilith MacMillan rang today, but I was watching something on TV and asked if she could ring back later.  So.  She got into a huff and stormed off the phone.

I daren’t ring her back…

Last night, I dreamt about Miranda Wasp.  And I know that somewhere in time, I love that woman.


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘TV these days…’

Saturday, 26 May 1990

The Impossible Missionary

‘The Impossible Mission’ – Alien Sex Fiend

It’s Lilith MacMillan’s birthday today.

The only thing that really happened to me was Spock visiting me to watch some DOCTOR WHO videos.

‘All Around the World’ – Lisa Stansfield

I got to thinking about sex and decided that sex is great.  But then I thought hang on, it’s actually disappointing.  And if sex is disappointing then what is the ultimate beyond that?  Same goes for ‘true love’; relationships… Girls.  It’s like when you’ve finished your first acid trip and you’re thinking, ‘Well that was okay, but… Is that it?  What’s next then?’  I suppose if I pursued this line of thinking to its natural conclusion then every experience in the world could leave one feeling this way.

Except music.  Certain sounds, the odd chord sequence; tunes that make you shiver inside.  Music never fails.

I get so caught up in these little outrages of mine.  I know there’s no solution to feeling like this, so why don’t I just shut up?

But why then do I revel in the idea of the female being?

Oh, shut up, Ritcherd.


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Huff and Storm…’

Friday, 25 May 1990

The Last Day of College

‘A Dream’s A Dream’ – Soul II Soul

Today, another 99p LITTLEWOODS breakfast with Donna and Donny.

A bit of a lazy day.  The last, you see.

I went to THE SPREAD EAGLE and joined Gemma Winchester, Abby MacMillan, Julian Ward, Una Baker, Chloe Attenborough, Harriet Burleigh, Peter Conti (thanks for the pint!), Jamie Davenport, Nigel Cameron (thanks for the pint!), Caroline Clifford, Emma Goddard, Fergie, Kate Lesser, Donny, and millions of others for a few pints.

‘It’s My Life’ – Talk Talk

I chatted greatly with Gemma Winchester about our ‘relationship’ and the ‘old days’, and I enjoyed it.  Chatted with Abby about Jonny (she likes him).  Chatted with Chloe Attenborough about sexual habits, which I also enjoyed.  I also chatted for a while with Emma about our former love problems.

It was a good day.  A lovely end.  Hugging every single one of them into a farewell.

(Even if Peter Conti has given Larry Goodgirl a copy of the FRANKENSTEIN script and he’ll probably steal it for his own…)

Yes, it was a lovely end.

A nice little kiss from Chloe Attenborough…

‘What Kind of Fool’ – All About Eve

There was also a strong and emotional parting between myself and Fergie.  We held and kissed lengthily.

And now, my college education is OVER.


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Impossible Mission…’

Thursday, 24 May 1990

Ritch's New Boyfriend

‘Got To Get’ – Rob ‘n’ Raz

The day began with a big gang of us saying our goodbye’s outside the Leaver’s Disco, which had been good fun, I suppose.  Yes.  It HAD!

Back at Donna’s for the night/morning were me, Donna (of course), Amy, Kirby, Donny, and Sally Watson with her boyfriend Mick.

It was a horrible near-sleepless night.  I had been sharing the bed with Donna, but somehow Amy managed to force her out so she could try and get off with me.  We ‘did things’ together, but I didn’t feel too sure that we should be.  I was a bit pissed off at not being able to sleep, really.  She wouldn’t stop talking.


When we all got up, Donny and I went for a 99p breakfast at LITTLEWOODS (a regular thing these days).  We then spent a very tired day crawling around Donna’s place on Tennyson Ave.

Apparently, The Mission are getting a new guitarist as Simon Hinkler’s left.  Who is this new fret-fondler?  None other than Stan Flowers – or so he came into Tech to tell us all.  I just DON’T believe him.



Tonight, Amy kept going on about me to Donny.  Donny got so fed up of her he told her I hate her guts.  Erm, not true.  She does annoy me sometimes, but I do like her.

I wear Donny’s denim jacket these days (he wears my motorbike leather) and I’ve reshaved the sides of my hair.  TS2 have been saying that me and Donny go out with each other.

HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Last Day of College…’