The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Saturday, 31 December 1988

New Year’s Eve 1988


1988 – AN EPILOGUE

 

‘Breathing’ – Kate Bush




 

At about 1am this morning – just after Kat + Jonny departed to bed – Flash and I took a walk out into the village.  We were intending to visit the graves by the fabulous church.  We went into the graveyard, but didn’t stay there long, because once there we felt as if we were intruding upon those souls fortunate to be at eternal rest.  This discussed, he and I then ventured further into what seemed like very beautifully black and somewhat muddy wilds.  The cold sky swirled with cloud, but it was spoiled by the polluting electric light, all yellow.  We were determined to see the sky properly, so we walked for ages, away from the town, until we were merely lit by a galaxy of stars. 

 

We approached a quite pleasant-looking collexion of trees, which we had desired to stand among, but then we heard some strange rustlings (and other noises) which sent us back in the direction of the Davidson home.

 

We then came back and watched the third and final episode three of DH LAWRENCE’s THE RAINBOW (on the video) till about 4am.  Once again, it filled my cold and empty heart with a passion for romance.  URSULA BRANGWEN could be my soul-sister.  And she was beautifully portrayed by IMOGEN STUBBS.  Would that I actually knew a woman like her.

 

Spindly creatures with twig-like talons, raking…


 

Today, when we finally got up, I felt ill, stricken with the flu.  I stayed in bed as the others ventured into Cirencester.

 

This evening, we are making merry, but I feel sad that Sinead isn’t here. 

 

Natalia Wnek also occupies my mind greatly.

 

It is sad that Jonny and Katrisha are finding it hard to get on together.  I found myself taken aback somewhat as Kat hugged me + thanked me for an unforgettable year, crying on my shoulder.

 

It’s been a wacky, jolly jaunt of an end to 1988, especially when Flash + Donna began to kiss + ‘get off’ with each other.

 

Flash, Donna and I eventually went into the churchyard and silently paid our respects before sitting among the graves beneath the dark shade of a heavy tree.  After a while, I left them alone and walked about a bit, saying a pre-emptive goodbye to 1988.  I then turned to the church and swore my allegiance to God, the Holy Father, the root of all.  Okay, so the imagery is Christian, but that’s all I have to go on until I know more.  I’m not a Christian and I’m not religious, but I do believe in a ‘god’, a deity.  I think.  I don’t know.  But right now, let’s just say maybe I do.  I just feel this … ‘unity’ … with the cosmos.  MY god.  And a god within me.  I don’t know, maybe I’m just weak-hearted.  In fact, the more I think about it the less sense it makes.

 

Anyway…

 

Upon returning to my companions, I found them kissing + close of heart, which was wonderful.  They were both afraid I’d be ‘jealous’ but it didn’t bother me a jot.  Quite the opposite.  It pleased me that my friends could be lovers, but…  I don’t know.  Something niggled, but not jealousy or envy or possessiveness or anything like that.  I think I felt myself getting all moral or something.  You see, it was all ‘spur of the moment’ and they knew it was ‘for one night only’; they intended to be sexually aware of each other for this night alone and revert to friendship in the morning.

 

Now, they have sexually toyed with each other – though they have not fornicated – but I feel such a pity for them that it is little more than a ‘one night lust’.  And I do understand that I am a fine one to talk about this kind of thing, but I love them both dearly and worry for them.  I mean, what I’m saying is, why are they doing it?  Do they really want to?  Is there something else at play here?

 

Hey, they can do what they want, can’t they?  If it doesn’t fit with how I feel about that stuff right now, well, that’s just my problem, isn’t it?

 

I cried in the churchyard.  A single tear.

 

So we’re back inside.

 

And 1988’s drawing to a close…

 

We have all been jolly + drunk + crazy.

 

1988 was the year of these people (for better or for worse):

 

Chip, Justine Black, Stan Flowers/Lampwick, Suzi, Belinda Reid, Kat Hill, Betty Baker, Flash Gordon, Manda Jones, Miranda Wasp, Spock, Josh Wilde, Donna Davidson, Jonny Badcock, Larry Goodgirl, Astra Trellis, Danny Black, Dan ‘Ash’ Ashton, Dan Berry and…

 

Most of all?

 

NATALIA WNEK

 

Well, that’s how it feels right now.

 

Is it true?

 

While I live, I hope.

While I hope, beauty reigns.

While beauty reigns, love will last.

 

And now it’s really over.

 

All my love

 

I NOW BEGIN MY SEARCH FOR THE TRUTH, IN THE HOPE THAT I MIGHT STAND PROUD IN THE GLORIOUS SUN; THE BEAUTEOUS RAIN.  I WILL FIND SHE, SO ENRAPTURED BY ME, AND WE SHALL EMBODY LOVE.  THAT MOMENT IS STILL FAR AWAY, BUT WHAT ELSE HAVE I EVER WANTED?  WHERE WILL I FIND THAT MOMENT? 

 

AND, SO THE REAL JOURNEY BEGINS…

 





 

 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘1989…’

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