The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Monday, 29 February 1988

The Official Story


9.20pm.

 

‘This Corrosion’ – The Sisters Of Mercy



(and why?  Because it reminds me of when Justine and I first met.  THAT’S WHY!  Okay?)

 

‘CONFUSION’

 

That’s the word for what I feel at the moment.  I need a lot of mental and physical inspiration right now.

 

Me, looking cool with brilliantly crimped hair and fantastic cheek-bones, but with a downcast edge…

 

LIFE’S JUST NOT GOING AT ALL TO PLAN…

 

I still don’t want to think about the weekend, but the time is right for me to rebuild my sense of Dignity and Self-Respect.

 


Jez will be reborn (yet again)!!!

 

Later:

 

‘L21ST’ – Cabaret Voltaire

 

I am now inclined to begin a new life in accordance with a set of self-disciplines, such as:

 

No more excessive drinking.

No more acting the stupid, wacky, crazy character of frivolous fun and jollity that people will only abuse or cheapen.

Remaining level headed and calm in situations I may actually find intense.

Taking more exercise.

Working harder in the band.

Eating a better diet.

Exercising physical and mental self-control.

 

Later:

 

‘Into The Abyss’ – Sex Gang Children



 

Justine was away today.  And I was hung over, lacking in dignity and self respect.  It was pathetic.  I took the piss out of a lot of people and became increasingly moody + tetchy.  I hated myself for losing my DIGNITY.  I even flew off the handle at Pauline, telling her she doesn’t care what I do in life, and that she doesn’t give a shit about me.

 

She later replied to this in a letter, telling me that she thought my remarks were ‘rather cutting’…

 

‘I know you probably meant it as a joke, but you wouldn’t have said it if you hadn’t already thought it.  I know that I should tell you this face to face, but I haven’t the courage.  So paper will have to do.  I don’t really know how to start this.  I know that you like me.  God, that sounds a bit like I’m self-assured, but I don’t want to sound like that.  I really do like you, but as a friend.  Also, I am seeing someone at the moment.  I’m also having some trouble at home, as you already know, well some of it anyway.  I hope you understand and I also know I feel slightly uneasy when you are around as I know you do with me.  I am stuck 4 words now, which is usually not me.  I just want you to still talk to me.  As I will you.  Well, I’d better go now.  Hope you understand.  Bye.’ 

 

She signs her name and offers three kisses.

 

‘Buggin’ Me’ – Alien Sex Fiend



 

1900s

 

1910 – Lung Hin Chin born in China.

 

Wayne Hussey.  ‘Poo on me,’ he’s saying…

 

Ritcherd J. Winterfood

 

FEEL MY HEARTBEAT.  FEEL THE PAIN.  FEEL THE TORTURE OF DEDICATION.  THE COBWEBS OF LOVE’S DECLARATION CLOGS MY BLOOD VESSELS.  CLOSING WALLS OF DEATH IN THE COBWEB OF LOVE.

 

ritcherd ritcherd

 

Stan, all frizzly-haired, imp-faced and snub-nosed, props up the bar and watches over his fizzy pint in his black jacket, ‘bondage’ trousers, buckle boots and ‘I LUV RITCHERD X’ t-shirt…

 

Ritcherd J

Winterfood

 

 

[A MOVIE TRAILER FROM THE NEAR-FUTURE…

WINTERFOOD

THE OFFICIAL STORY

 

MARCH

 

WILL Winterfood’s earthly desires be fulfilled in anew relationship with Pauline Gold?  Or will he stay with Justine?

 

HAS Lindsay got an a amahzingly huge nose?

 

DOES Ritch get some jyp off a psychobilly?

 

DO Justine and Ritcherd engage in an emotional battle?

 

IS it hard to get in touch with Paul Jones?

 

IS Nyall instigating a Winterfeud?

 

JUST WHY DOES Sugarblood come to an end?  And what replaces it?

 

HOW DOES the BTC meet a grizzly end?

 

DOES Winterfood lose his Diamanda Galas LP?

 

WHICH one-night stand returns to Winterfood’s life one afternoon in Norwich?

 

DOES Winterfood have violent sex with Naomi Bell?

 

IS IT PROBABLE that Smith will pull his willy out?

 

COULD Stan ever become depressed again?

 

DO four get stoned on Ashton Street?

 

DOES Winterfood come top of the year in his PRACTICAL DRAMA EXAM?

 

JUST WHO DOES Winterfood go on about for ages?

 

DOES Winterfood ever see Newcastle pals Crackle ‘n’ Rae again?

 

WHO IS the friend of five years that Winterfood lustfully seduces?

 

WHAT OF arrangements made with a mysterious Wisbech band?

 

FIND OUT, CHILDREN!

 

THESE QUERIES AND OTHERS WILL BE ANSWERED IN:

WINTERFOOD:

MARCH

 – Future Ritcherd]

 

 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘If it wasn't for the reason that I love you…’

Sunday, 28 February 1988

Dignity Loss


‘Warm’ – Cabaret Voltaire

 

Today I lost my dignity and sense of self-respect.

 

The daytime was great.  Matt Cuthbertson came down, but Ursula Stag (Surprise!  Surprise!) did not. 

 

‘God, will she ever turn up?’ we wondered. 

 

She was ‘ill in bed’ (to quote her dad).  I just don’t think she can play the drums.  It’s very infuriating, but as we waited for her this afternoon, I wrote a new song.

 

Stan decided that this was it, and I had to agree.  It’s time to lose touch with Ursula.  FORGET HER!!!  But we still needed a drummer…

 

We were on the brink of asking our last choice in the whole Universe – Libby – to join, when Sten decided we’d be better with a (temporary) drum machine (until someone really ace comes along).

 

Anyway, Matt was good and we immediately hit it off, managing a very good days work on: ‘Badlands’ (now with a more dynamic tune); ‘Kiss Of Pand’ra’ (today’s new song, which we were all VERY dubious about at first, but have grown to like); ‘Come Up The Years’ (having totally rearranged the music and the presentation of the lyrics and given it a lot more guts!); ‘Bleeding’ (still good); ‘Beyond The Dream Of Jasmine’ (getting better). 

 

We may still have our first proper gig in Thetford at the end of March, supporting Mortal Death.  It all depends if they get the gig or not…

 

‘This Corrosion’ – The Sisters Of Mercy



 

When Matt went home, Stan ‘n’ me went to the pub.  Here, Legs revealed a lot to me.  As I didn’t speak to Justine on Friday, he spent a lot of time with her and tells me she was angry that I hadn’t been in Tec on Thursday.  Also, regarding a letter I sent her last year (and also a statement I made in last year’s diary), someone – God knows who – reported to her that our ‘relationship’ was not happening because I love her, but because I wanted ‘revenge’ on her.  Whoever this person is told her that my intention is to separate her from Leighton and then discard her by the wayside.  Which, given the soul-searching I’ve gone through over Justine, is just CRUEL!  VICIOUS!  UNTRUE!!!

 

In a very drunken frenzy, and during a call to Flash, I realised that I do not want to lose the girl at all, and that I do, in fact, feel a tremendous amount for her.  Flash (and Russ) reckons I should tell her my feelings straight up.  I explained to Legs that I’m crazy about her.

 

Hah!  I spent ages tonite, listening to ‘This Corrosion’ by The Sisters.  Why?  Because it reminded me of the good old days, when it rained and Justine and I could still look each other in the eyes and say ‘I love you’ – and mean it!  

 

Anyway.  Then we came ‘home’ and, in a booze frenzy, got pissed on barley wine with Russ.  In the process, I got silly and stupid.  We all did.

 

‘Smells Like Shit’ – Alien Sex Fiend



 

There we were, in Stan’s room, playing about with Russ’s girlfriend’s vibrator.  Somehow – but I’m almost tempted to say ‘typically’ – Stan dared me to put it up my arse.  So I did.  It felt nice, of course, and nothing embarrassing happened, but the sheer seediness of sticking a vibrator up my arse just because my friend had dared me to seemed quite squalid.  In turn, I dared him, and he did, which just seemed even more seedy – especially as it hurt him so much and came out with all pooh on it.  EEARGH!  Then we dared Russ, who – once Stan had washed it – also went for it, pulling his pants round his thighs and crouching over it (going ‘Unghf-unghf!’).  Worst of all, though, their mum chose this moment to walk in and tell us to keep the noise down.  To his credit, Russ did a superb job of not looking at all like he had a sex aid in his rectum, but it all fell apart somewhat as she turned to leave and it inadvertently whizzed into life with all the gusto of a hysterical motorbike.

 

The hilarity and subsequent shame was too much for any of us to bear.  Rock ‘n’ roll, eh?

 

So I’ve realised that in drinking and getting out of your head, you lose your dignity.

 

I swear I will mend my ways and repair my lifestyle. 

 




 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘The official story…’

Saturday, 27 February 1988

Sugarblood Days


‘Crash’ – The Primitives

 

Today Stan and I worked further on ‘Beyond The Dream…’ and ‘Come Up The Years’ (the Jefferson Airplane cover version we recorded with Flash last summer as Blessed Are The Undead).  We also did a version of ‘Bleeding’, one of Flash’s brilliant old Dead Dead songs.

 

Tonight, after a full day of Sugarblood we went to the pub.

 

‘It’s May and I’m crawling into you…’

 




 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Dignity loss…’

Friday, 26 February 1988

Beyond the Dream of Jasmine


12.40am.

 

Oh well.  I’ll dream of The MISSION.

 

Goodnite.

 

Later:

 

‘Deiche’ – Sex Gang Children



 

Today I got to Tech and I didn’t speak to Justine.  I just couldn’t.  No feeling in me wanted to.  It wasn’t hate or anything like that.  Just complete verbal apathy.

 

So I didn’t speak to JUSTINE BLACK.  An icy silence has developed.

 

I spent most of the day with Astra Trellis and had my hair thinned OUT!!! 

 

I also bought ‘Tower Of Strength (Bombay Mix)’ 12-inch by The Mission.


 

Later:

 

‘Flesh me out in the songs of Heaven…’

 

Today developed into Stan and me practicing ‘Badlands’ (which was just totally shit), and a new song of mine called ‘Beyond The Dream Of Jasmine’ (which came along really well).

 

Just the palest smile of suicide,

Just the faintest sound of suicide

Is keeping me alive.

 

Jasmine, why do you hate me now?

Was it the ‘blood runs thicker than water’?

Was it more than your mind or your body would allow?

 

Jasmine, don’t let your head bow down,

Is this the Tired Year Of Sorrow?

Or is it me, and my neglect, the love we never found?

 

Gunshot, forewarning

Gunshot, forewarning (in my mind)

 

Dream of Jasmine

Dream of Jasmine

 

Jasmine, do you still hate me now?

Is it the blood run thicker than water?

Is it more than your time or money will allow?

 

Jasmine, oh, Jasmine

Jasmine, oh, Jasmine

 

Jasmine, you could do it now if you had the time.

But if you hand me the gun, I’ll shrink away –

Oh, if you’d only let me stay, I could live with this!

 

Oh Jasmine!

 

Just the faintest click of suicide,

Just the ice-wet cold of suicide,

Just the goddamned fear of suicide

Keeping me alive.

 




 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Sugarblood days…’

 

Thursday, 25 February 1988

Top Of The Pops


TIME: 12.10am

PLACE: THE PURPLE HAVEN.

MUSIC: ‘Two Tribes’ – Frankie Goes To Hollywood (what a HACE jest!)



 

Stan should be just out of the ALL ABOUT EVE gig right now.  Can’t wait to see him on Friday.

 

Hope Nightingale visits me before he goes to OZ, too.

 

SLEEP, JEZ, SLEEP!

 

Later:

 

My No.1: ‘Sex Dwarf’ – Soft Cell



 

OH MY CRIKEY ME!  I’M ON CLOUD 99 AT THE MOMENT.  TODAY HAS BEEN ACE!!!  I HOPE ONE DAY THAT ALL OF THE MISSION, ALL ABOUT EVE, LORRIES, FIENDS, NEPH, ROSE MCDOWALL, KIM WILDE, PATRICIA MORRISON AND ANDREW ELDRITCH READ THIS DIARY.  OH MY CRIKEY JIM!  LORDY ME!  LORDY!  LORDY!

 

Here goes the daytime, in near running order…

 

I dreamt, this morning, of a) a letter arriving from Flash, and b) a really good band on TV.  PROPHECIES, NO DENYING.  I got up at about 10.30am (no Tech as it is a THURSDAY) to discover a letter from Flash.  I was very impressed.  The first letter in a VERY long time, I think.  A VERY, VERY long time. 

 

BITS OF INTEREST:

 

‘so, you didn’t come up this weekend.  Sorry if I sounded unaffected when you told me, but that’s me, isn’t it?  When I get disappointed I shut off all channels to my feelings, so I turn dead cold.  You should know me by now.’  I UNDERSTAND, MORBIUS!

 

‘I don’t have a girlfriend or relationship of any sexual kind with a LASS’

 

‘How much did Danyel’s sweets cost?’

 

‘Secret Life’ – Soft Cell



 

For my mediocre afternoon, I watched DAVID BOWIE in Love You Till Tuesday, which wasn’t very good, except for a nice piece of mime about a mask.

 

 

After my lunch, I was well impressed to discover who would be on Top Of The Pops, i.e. THE PRIMITIVES (whom I have often found ‘nice’), MORRISSEY (whose new single I really like) and, best of all, THE MISSION!  WOOOOO!

 

THEN…

StAN RANG

 

He went to see ALL ABOUT EVE last night with Orange Limes drummer, Libby.  At the gig, some of the members of Mortal Death got chatting to Stan and asked him how The Antoinettes were coming on.  Stan explained all that had happened o’er the last few months.  The Death were very interested to hear about Sugarblood, and asked us if we’d play support for them in Thetford some time in March.  I was like ‘no way!’ when Stan told me he’d agreed.  Brilliant!

 

After the EVE gig, only Stan and Libby got backstage to mee the band, apparently.  Good ol’ Stan got me ‘n’ Flash some autographs and spent some time chatting to the band about: Leeds, Wakefield, Pontefract, Red Rhino, and the ‘piggin’ ace’ belt (Simon Hinkler’s words) I sold Simon of THE MISSION.  Stan had an ace time and he ‘n’ Libby were given a drum stick each.  ACE!!!

 

Julianne Regan: ‘That’s a funny way to spell RITCHERD!  Where’s he from?’

 

Stan got me rate chaffed.  And I told him about the letter from Crackle and Rae.  He was pleased they’d written.

 

And now for…

 

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY!

 

(ORGASM TIME!)

 

THE MISSION on Top Of The Pops.

 

It was ace when they came on (doing ‘Tower Of Strength’) and I found myself watching Simon’s waist, just in case, thinking, ‘I hope he wears the belt, like I asked him to…’

And Simon, all the way from the USA just for the show, WAS wearing MY BELT!

Childish of me, in a way, but I felt so excited.  Thrilled, chilled and all that.  HINKLER ON TV IN MY FAR-TRAVELLED LEATHER BELT!  ACE!  ACE!  ACE!  CLOSE-UP SHOTS, ‘N’ ALL.  I’M SO HAPPY. SIMON KEPT HIS WORD (WHETHER INTENTIONALLY OR NOT)!  ACE!

 

It sent my heart racing.

 

As soon as their performance finished, the phone rang.  It was my ACE MATE FLASH.  Sounded ace, he did.  He was as excited as me.  He’d seen it and noticed my belt.  Golly me, I yapped on about it, I bet.

 

CLOUD HEAVEN OR WHAT?  WOW!  We’re all well-chuffed here at Blackberry Narrow.

 

I rang Stan.  He’d seen.

 

Hope my mates spotted it.  They’ll all be VERY nonplussed I’m sure.

 

BORING!!!

 




 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Beyond the Dream of Jasmine…’

Wednesday, 24 February 1988

Cushing


‘Welcome To The Pleasuredome’ – Frankie Goes To Hollywood


(aah!  The memories!!!)

 

Today has been Wednesday, in a realistic sense…

 

The weather was stupid, in this basic order: wind, then snow, then rain, then sun, then hailstone, then rain, hailstone, sun, hailstone, rain, snow…  How crap!!!

 

Danny was away, which was crap.

 

I didn’t really see Astra Trellis, either – only to wave to – which was sad. 

 

Legs was really nice.

 

Mary was shit (and she thinks ‘Kick In The Eye’ is an Alien Sex Fiend record). 

 

> DAVROS!!! <

 

Mekon-headed Davros trundles in, spazzily; escorted by A ROMAN carrying a standard that bears the legend: SPAQ…

 

I’m really into ASF again.

 

Luggage thinx I’m trying to steal his girlfriend Glenda.  God knows why.  Paranoia?

 

‘Suedehead’ – Morrissey



 

JUSTINE and I spent most of the day together, and I have come to the following conclusions:  I still hold, within my soul, a spark for Justine, but I do not wholly love her – and this is making me feel a lot of guilt, because I know that if I found a REAL girlfriend I’d have to finish mine ‘n’ Justine’s extremely loose ‘affair’. 

 

BUT Justine LOVES me.  A case of LOVE OR NOTHING springs to mind. 

 

Ironically, this makes me feel like a user.  I now realise that I like her a hell of a lot and would succumb to any number of given situations with her; but in all REALITY, I could never again take a fully committed relationship with her.  Therefore I feel guilty, because I feel like I’ve led her on, and that guilt is saying to me: ‘GET OUT!  FINISH THIS AFFAIR; BEFORE YOU’RE TRAPPED INTO HAVING TO LET HER DOWN!!!’

 

This guilt hangs heavy on me whenever I kiss her, touch her, especially because when she touches me I feel a ‘thrill’ of confidence.  This guilt is not an overpowering, omnipotent guilt, but its presence gives me UNDERSTANDING.  An understanding that tells me I must fully control my emotional responses to her; that as long as I do, I will not be trapped.  And I know I won’t.  Now, for once, I am in a stronger position than Justine.  Whatever turn things take now can have no adverse effect on me, but it could deeply affect her.

 

I just don’t want to lose myself within her…

 

Everything’s okay so far.

 

I didn’t see Pauline today, but I’ve got to talk about US with her.  I NEED her.  I DO.

 

TV HIGHLIGHT:  The immensely charming and wonderful Peter Cushing as a guest on Wogan. 



Cushing is excellent and this made my day, in a sense.

 

HAMMER

 




 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Top Of The Pops…’