25 Years Too Late...

25 Years Too Late...

Friday, 22 December 1989

Closing Down the '80s

‘Achilles Last Stand’ – Led Zeppelin


A recent issue of Record Mirror listed the following as being representative of the ‘80s, so I’ve tried to offer my take on how they’ve affected me…

It’s pleased me.  I’d feel better in a more united world than this one, and this seems to be a good start.  I was shit-scared of the possibility of Nuclear War in the mid-‘80s.  It seems, in a way, more irrelevant now.  The Russians aren’t ‘evil’ any more.





Yeah.  The advancement and culmination of what were just dreams when I was a little kid.  And then I remember that day in 1986 when we had the first disaster.





Memories of last year’s panto.  Badcock was crazy about Gilbert at the time.

Laughable.  Donna Davidson buys it, but I think it’s a ‘waste of cash’.





Always hated them.  Remind me of life in Pontefract around 1982.

Suggests Yuppies to me.  Who gave me the Filofax.  Which organised my life in ’89.

Who?





What a load of bollocks.  Mind you, ‘Come On, Eileen’ pleased me at the time.





Signify to me the sad Americanisation of this country.  Replaced ‘Treets’, didn’t they?





Yes, a pioneer in musical entertainment.  It gave me FGTH, Madonna, and King.  Those were the days, eh?

If it’s referring to the arrival of ACID HOUSE then, yeah; changed my music-loving life last year.





Scared me to death at the time.  Spent some of that period in Spain and the atmosphere seemed strongly pro-Argentinian.  And Carlton High School geography lessons!  God.  I thought the Falklands were near Scotland and that this was it: the end!





I think of the big fight earlier this year.

Means nothing to me.  I hate football.

DESIGNER LABELS
Pissed me off.  Ridiculous.

DESIGNER STUBBLE




Was a good excuse for me not shaving at 15 and 16.

DESIGNER DRUGS
Never tried acid, or – perhaps more significantly – Ecstasy.  I have smoked dope and popped the odd prescription pill for the high.  I’ve also sniffed nitrates, smoked ciggies, taken snuff and abused solvents.  So most of what I’ve tried ought to be under the heading ‘Wank Drugs’.

DESIGNER EVERYTHING
One of the reasons that in 1985 I started thinking about taking a more ‘alternative’ approach to fashion and music, which culminated in my ‘Gothic’ thing.

COMPACT DISCS
Yeah.  Wish I had a bloody player.  They’re ace.

Always hated this sort of crap.  Ironic that this one was in this year’s panto.

MALE FEMINISTS
Yeah.  And why not?  I couldn’t say for sure if I’m one, but I do agree with it all.  There’s no excuse for inequality of any kind.  I suspect the fact that I enjoy pornography might be my stumbling block.  I enjoy porn far too much.





Just a lot of media nonsense, ultimately.

£1 COINS
Didn’t want them at first.  But they’re quite skill when you think.





I wanted to be one when I was 12, when I listened to my Human League, Soft Cell, Adam Ant, Depeche Mode and Japan records.  It seems to have rubbed on to the Goths, so I got my go then, when the Goths rubbed off on me.





I’m proud of those women.

‘STYLE’ MAGAZINES
Yeah.  Read a few.  Mostly full of shit.

Hello, Filofax.  I had strange misconceptions about what Yuppies were in 1985.  I thought they were cool, hip, go-getters; creators and artists.  It embarrasses me to this day.





It’s been an indirect but heavily influential part of all our lives in recent years.  It scares the hell out of me.  And with the lessons of AIDS ingrained in our minds endlessly now, well, I know I won’t be having any more stupid sex.  No way!

Thought about it a few times.  Couldn’t do it.  Nice idea, though.

[I’ve now been a vegetarian for over 5 years and have no intention of giving up – Ritcherd 1999]

I love my Earth.  It’s almost as if Mother earth is the only thing I could truly worship.  All those life-gifts.  Our destruction of our environment is a terrible thing.  It must stop.





Meant a lot to me between ’83 – ’85.  Latest singles are good, too.  I quite like her.  I bought the Penthouse mags with her nude pictures in when I was 15.

Who?

What?





I remember that day well.  That feeling that the world was perhaps united in one cause.  I sat and watched that almost all day.

I have joined the ranks asking for this man’s freedom.  Please do the same.

SAMPLING




From Art of Noise to the JAMMS it’s made music reach another interesting level.  I loved it until Jive Bunny showed us how destructive and shit it can be.

Nice incidental music; don’t much care for the show itself.

LOW CHART POSITIONS
Hmm.

Hate the lot of all that bunch of modern young film actors.  Talentless, inaudible bunch of plebs.  I never thought I’d say this – and it’s only a personal view – but it’s this reliance on image and hype that I really hate.  Yeah, that’s it.





A few good, solid records, but so what?  There’s a lot of bands out there that manage that.  Naw, I’m being harsh, because I DO like them, and in a way their sound seems to usher in the ‘90s.  They're clearly brilliant.  But what makes them more worthy than so many others of a place on this list?

PHONECARDS
It’s wank when all the phones in the area only take cards.  I’ve never used one.

GREEN POLITICS
Hear-hear!

TV-AM
Nice, pleasant morning music.  But so what?

SHOULDER PADS
Yeah.  I remember them.

SOAP OPERAS




Oh yes: Dallas, Dynasty, The Colbys, Brookside, EastEnders, Coronation Street, Neighbours, Crossroads, Santa Barbara; I’ve watched all of them at some point in the ‘80s.

DODGY GAME SHOWS




Yeah.  Too many.  Get ‘em off.

LYCRA CYCLING SHORTS
Yes.  I do possess a pair.  Make me think of Bananarama and Pet Shop Boys.

RAMBO




Good films for releasing anxiety.  Beatrice Wasp at the pictures.  Mmm, yes!

A few good records and a tonne of shyte.  Never mind.  Win some, lose some.

CROISSANT SHOPS
Never seen one in my life.

MEN IN FROCKS
I wear a skirt now and then.  It’s true.

So?

WAREHOUSE PARTIES
And why not?  Why?  Because the government says not.  So just do it.  Rave on and rock on.  ACIEEED!

DISASTERS
Far too many.

SCOTTISH POP BANDS
Who?  Who?  Oh yes: Ultravox.  Ahem.

RICKY VILLA SCORING AT WEMBLEY
What?  Football is shite.





Yeah.  The Smiths did a lot for me between ’84 – ’86.  I’m glad they did too.

Yep.  Big in my life between ’84 – ’86 (ish); FGTH, ZTT…  Wow, me aged 14 and meeting Flash on the 16th Feb, and all that.

Tried my first one at Leeds, from Saxton Gardens flats’ shops when Betty was away once.  No one should be without a Pot Noodle.



What?

CENTRE PARTY POLITICS
Eh?!

VECTOR ACCOUNTS
What?  Eh?

SEVENTIES REVIVALS
If, to some extent, you could count The Mission and S-Express as part of that, then hear-hear!

CHANNEL FOUR
Good channel.  Glad it’s here.  And it gave us Brond.

VIDEO JUKE-BOXES
They had one in The Bell in Norwich.

12-INCH SINGLES
Yeah, too many of ‘em now (now we’ve got CD Players).  FGTH mastered the art of the 12”.

Worst film in the universe.  Last New Year’s

Infuriating bastards.

I like Michael Jackson.  But I hate his music.

Yeah!

Is that a cheese?

I never want that.

SID JAMES REVIVALS
And why not?  Stan looks like him.

Reminds me of Barmston beach in 1984.  And Manda Jones.

INDIE LABELS
Purveyors of much of the music I’ve purchased since ’85.

BEAZER HOMES
Inspiration for the name of one of the off-stage characters in The Chinese Play.


Fook bag.

Yeah, 1986 and all that.  Happy Xmas!

BORN-AGAIN CHRISTIANS
Hm, what, like Bono?  U2 fans?


Bored now.

BEHIND THE BEAT
Wank.

TRAINERS
Yak!

Ha-ha.  Yak!

Fuck off!

Later:

‘Pump Up the Jam’ – Technotronic

Today, I went shopping – for myself, mainly.  I had some Xmas money, so I bought myself some purple dungarees (very Madchester), some thick commando sox, two hooded tops (one black, one purple), and some records and books.

I met Larry Goodgirl for lunch and wished him a merry Christmas.

I rang Natalia Wnek tonite, but she wasn’t in.  However, her mum arranged for us all to meet tomorrow in Bacchally’s.


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Disappointing girls…’